Things are getting a little desperate - at least for the moment. For the past couple of days, I've been inexplicably moody and short-tempered. Last night (and earlier today, for that matter) I was struck by some urges I thought were well behind me. Furthermore, I've been really self-centred and unfeeling for the past week. Part of this whole improvement process is supposed to relate to being a nice person but I feel I've failed in that this week.
In actual fact, I feel like a failure across the board. I think, in applying for jobs, one starts to get infected by a certain set of perspectives and value systems regarding merit and, by the tenets of such systems, I'm feeling useless.
I feel I should elaborate but it's weird talking about these things.
Daily report:
Exercise - tick
Employment - found a couple of prospects, couldn't bring myself to apply
Creative - composed a short piece of music experimenting with composition and arrangement. Bit of a random experiment but I think it will help me.
Logistics - fucked
Domestic - room, laundry, house, cleaned
At the moment, I feel like I'm treading water. I need to move forward.
I should also relax and chill out.
No comments:
Post a Comment