Things appear to have straightened out somewhat. Not quite back to maximum productivity but I managed 90mins of exercise, I continued the mammoth task of tidying my room (and hope to have it finished tomorrow), cleaned my house, looked for jobs and finalised a beat. Hopefully I can keep this up. I do think I need more structure for this to work, though. I think I should also keep a weekly or monthly eye on how things are going in different areas - evaluate what works and what doesn't. Things to consider.
Given this was meant to be as much a creative diary as a general improvement one, I thought I'd upload some of the beats I've been working on and talk about them. I've got two I think I'll develop into full songs. My aim is to have two additional songs written by the time of my next gig - so, with these beats lined up, I'm going to stop fucking around with random ideas and work solely on the ideas that I currently have at my disposal.
Here are the two beats:
Idiot Mission Demo by M. O'Neill
This is the more developed. I was aiming for something upbeat and celebratory. Don't think I quite got there but the general funkiness and layering of sounds is very much the kind of sound world I want to create. It's probably the closest I've ever come to directly ripping off Public Enemy but I think there's enough quirk to it to stand apart. The big bassy sounds in the drums are Taikos. I fucking love Taikos.
There are lyrics to this (or a verse, at least) but I'm not ready to share them yet.
Melty Song Beat and Bass by M. O'Neill
Beat two. Only really finalised this rhythm today. It's my experiment in minimalism. As most anyone who has met me knows, my vision for my music is one of ten thousand ideas exploding at once. I still plan to explore that with this track but I've learnt - some would say somewhat reluctantly - that it is literally impossible to build a functional hip hop track (ie, one that makes people want to dance) without a balnce of simple and complex ideas (both musically and lyrically). If you make one element complicated, it tends to force another into simplicity. One of my missions for my music is to create lush, melodically dense works. I think this could be a good vehicle for that. Also, every song I've written has me rapping at a million words a minute. Time to scale it back and see if I can handle a slower BPM.
I quite like the bass for it. It needs mixing (it's a synth fed through guitar distortion) but I like the heavy, funky vibe it gives the song. I can see the song turning into a dark, throbbing kind of number.
I'm almost always wrong, though, so let's see what happens.
Monday, 31 October 2011
Sunday, 30 October 2011
Day 21: Wallowing
Speaking bluntly, I'm just a bit of a mess right now. I had a lot of things I was thinking of talking about in today's entry but I don't really have the focus or the willpower - which is one of the many things that are messifying me.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed something about how I conduct myself socially (and generally, for that matter). I just seem to have an absurd amount of energy and less control. I ramble on and reveal things I shouldn't and just act bizarrely. It's not typical for me. It was, at a time, but it hasn't been the case for a long while. It's strange. I feel this anxious euphoria around people. It's this terrifying sprint of insanity. What bothers me about it is that it's very much how I was towards the end of high school. I found a whole bunch of poems I wrote in high school while tidying my room. and they outlined a whole bunch of problems I'm still dealing with - it fills you with this fear that you're standing still.
Intellectually, I know I'm not, but that fear gets to you.
General report:
Didn't exercise at all today. Too fucked from yesterday. Kept working on the room tidying - it's a much bigger job than I thought it would be - and tidied the house. Otherwise, chilled out. Bit of a wasted day but it's been a really emotional couple of days and I realised I just needed to stop and deal with that for a day. I'm hoping to be back on the horse tomorrow. I suspect, though, that rain is going to fuck my day. Hopefully not.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed something about how I conduct myself socially (and generally, for that matter). I just seem to have an absurd amount of energy and less control. I ramble on and reveal things I shouldn't and just act bizarrely. It's not typical for me. It was, at a time, but it hasn't been the case for a long while. It's strange. I feel this anxious euphoria around people. It's this terrifying sprint of insanity. What bothers me about it is that it's very much how I was towards the end of high school. I found a whole bunch of poems I wrote in high school while tidying my room. and they outlined a whole bunch of problems I'm still dealing with - it fills you with this fear that you're standing still.
Intellectually, I know I'm not, but that fear gets to you.
General report:
Didn't exercise at all today. Too fucked from yesterday. Kept working on the room tidying - it's a much bigger job than I thought it would be - and tidied the house. Otherwise, chilled out. Bit of a wasted day but it's been a really emotional couple of days and I realised I just needed to stop and deal with that for a day. I'm hoping to be back on the horse tomorrow. I suspect, though, that rain is going to fuck my day. Hopefully not.
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Day 20: Socialising
Exercised 2/3 again. Was at a festival from pretty much midday to 10pm, and then a party from 10-midnight. Weird night. Fucking tired. Sleep time.
Friday, 28 October 2011
Day 19: The Torpor Continues
I'm pretty tired so this will be brief.
I haven't finished my room but I've made progress culling and sorting my clothes. The rest of my house is relatively clean. I workshopped my job application and submitted it and I think I've given myself the best chance I could - I really hope I get it. I tinkered with a new beat, trying to make the smallest, tightest groove I could. It's still a little fiddly but it's much simpler than my other stuff. Excited to rap over it.
Exercise-wise, I skimped out on weights again but I think one more day of recovery will do me good (and I did the other stuff). I need to pick it back up tomorrow, though. That's the goal.
Man, so tired. Bedtime.
I haven't finished my room but I've made progress culling and sorting my clothes. The rest of my house is relatively clean. I workshopped my job application and submitted it and I think I've given myself the best chance I could - I really hope I get it. I tinkered with a new beat, trying to make the smallest, tightest groove I could. It's still a little fiddly but it's much simpler than my other stuff. Excited to rap over it.
Exercise-wise, I skimped out on weights again but I think one more day of recovery will do me good (and I did the other stuff). I need to pick it back up tomorrow, though. That's the goal.
Man, so tired. Bedtime.
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Day 18: Domestic Dominance
The question I'm asking myself right now is - am I developing a sensible work ethic at the moment? Or am I just getting lazier?
Today, I skimped out on one third of the exercise regimen. I did the swimming and the bike but I didn't do the strength exercises. Intellectually, I know this was the reasonable option. I have pains all over my body - and particularly in my knee joints - so it would have been unwise to do anything high-impact. I can't help but feel I'm getting lazier, though.
This isn't just in regards to exercise. I haven't been burning myself out on anything or obsessing over any particular detail of anything. I'm not that fussed all I did was swim yesterday. I'm not that bothered I didn't make much music today (though I did FINALLY figure out how to program a bog-standard drum'n'bass pattern - which is something I've been trying to do for YEARS). Am I becoming a sensible little worker bee? Or a lazy one?
It honestly bothers me. I feel I should be doing more - working harder, faster and smarter. It's hard to know what the barometer is, really. I made the mistake of reading an eminem interview where, in the wake of rehab, he was so obsessed he ran up to 28kms daily. Compare that with my 10kms a day and I look like a lightweight. Compare my 10kms with practically anyone I know, though, and I look like a marathon runner. Same with all my endeavours, really.
People tell me all the time how driven I am and they kind of marvel at my willpower but I can't help but question if I'm actually pushing myself. Physically, I must be - otherwise I wouldn't have so much pain - but intellectually, emotionally, creatively...? Like I said, I feel I should be doing more. Am I nuts?
Today wasn't actually a waste. I spent most of it working on my bedroom. I haven't cleaned my room more than three times since I moved into my house. It's always been a cluttered disaster. So, as part of this whole comprehensive self-improvement mission, I've decided to clean the bastard - and keep it clean. All my successes in keeping my house clean have given me the confidence to say I can do it with my room as well. I plan to have a sock drawer, an underpants drawer, cupboards and shelves by the end of the week.
You have no idea how proud of myself I am for this, just by the way. I feel like I'm really improving myself as a person - getting more disciplined and mature. Perhaps that's lame. I don't care, though. I'm doing something I never thought I'd be able to do before and that's a pretty big deal to me.
In regards to the other stuff, I didn't get massive amounts done. Exercise, yeah, (two out of three, anyway) and, obviously, the domestic stuff. No job application stuff but it's in the schedule. Tomorrow's plans are to finish and submit a job application and finish my room. Creatively, I didn't invest much time in anything specific. I was just trying to wrap my head around drum'n'bass.
I've decided my priority needs to be a job, though. Once I have a concrete job, I can sort my life out and really invest myself in this whole self-improvement thing. I'm looking forward to learning guitar and ballet and french and all of it. Before any of that, though, I need a solid job. So, I'm going to goddamn get one.
Today, I skimped out on one third of the exercise regimen. I did the swimming and the bike but I didn't do the strength exercises. Intellectually, I know this was the reasonable option. I have pains all over my body - and particularly in my knee joints - so it would have been unwise to do anything high-impact. I can't help but feel I'm getting lazier, though.
This isn't just in regards to exercise. I haven't been burning myself out on anything or obsessing over any particular detail of anything. I'm not that fussed all I did was swim yesterday. I'm not that bothered I didn't make much music today (though I did FINALLY figure out how to program a bog-standard drum'n'bass pattern - which is something I've been trying to do for YEARS). Am I becoming a sensible little worker bee? Or a lazy one?
It honestly bothers me. I feel I should be doing more - working harder, faster and smarter. It's hard to know what the barometer is, really. I made the mistake of reading an eminem interview where, in the wake of rehab, he was so obsessed he ran up to 28kms daily. Compare that with my 10kms a day and I look like a lightweight. Compare my 10kms with practically anyone I know, though, and I look like a marathon runner. Same with all my endeavours, really.
People tell me all the time how driven I am and they kind of marvel at my willpower but I can't help but question if I'm actually pushing myself. Physically, I must be - otherwise I wouldn't have so much pain - but intellectually, emotionally, creatively...? Like I said, I feel I should be doing more. Am I nuts?
Today wasn't actually a waste. I spent most of it working on my bedroom. I haven't cleaned my room more than three times since I moved into my house. It's always been a cluttered disaster. So, as part of this whole comprehensive self-improvement mission, I've decided to clean the bastard - and keep it clean. All my successes in keeping my house clean have given me the confidence to say I can do it with my room as well. I plan to have a sock drawer, an underpants drawer, cupboards and shelves by the end of the week.
You have no idea how proud of myself I am for this, just by the way. I feel like I'm really improving myself as a person - getting more disciplined and mature. Perhaps that's lame. I don't care, though. I'm doing something I never thought I'd be able to do before and that's a pretty big deal to me.
In regards to the other stuff, I didn't get massive amounts done. Exercise, yeah, (two out of three, anyway) and, obviously, the domestic stuff. No job application stuff but it's in the schedule. Tomorrow's plans are to finish and submit a job application and finish my room. Creatively, I didn't invest much time in anything specific. I was just trying to wrap my head around drum'n'bass.
I've decided my priority needs to be a job, though. Once I have a concrete job, I can sort my life out and really invest myself in this whole self-improvement thing. I'm looking forward to learning guitar and ballet and french and all of it. Before any of that, though, I need a solid job. So, I'm going to goddamn get one.
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
Day 17: The STORY IDEA
Work day today. Didn't get a great deal done in regards to productivity - particularly since I went straight from work to socialising. I did swim and I was all set up to do some more exercise on top of that but a quick burst of rain swiftly dampened my spirit. Honestly, I'm glad it did. I was sore all over and I need to catch up on sleep. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bummed but, as I've said before, the point of this blog is to develop a sensible work ethic - and mindlessly grasping to a schedule just for the sake of it is not sensible at all. Eventually, if it hasn't already, it will become unhealthy.
Far from a wasted day, though. Aside from all the work I got done for my actual jobs, I FINALLY came up with the sketchings of a story idea for the play I want to write. I've been kind of sitting around waiting for something to enter my head for a couple of weeks now and I'd actually decided today that I needed to start writing regardless of whether I had a clue or not - just to get the juices flowing - but, in a weird domino effect, I pieced together some kind of set-up. I individually thought of a handful of interesting ideas and then, as I was leaving work, they kind of just collided and exploded together in my head.
The basic run of ideas started with me thinking about the concept of my phone not working and me thinking it was (and vice versa). I'm not proud to admit it came to me while I was wondering if people were ignoring my messages (hey, none of us are immune to a little insecurity). I got fascinated by this idea of things being broken without you realising they're broken - because you don't actually know what they're supposed to be doing. Following that, I found myself on a bus wondering what day of the week it was and wondering how it would feel if I went to bed on a Monday and just randomly found myself on the way to work on a Friday.
I combined these with two other ideas I'd had (about a professor living in a world where everyone speaks in pure gibberish and a taxi driver who never, ever, ever gets a customer) and just some general fascinations (the concept that the internet has meant no-one will ever fully forget us, even if we would like them to do so) and, eventually, they all kind of fell into place. I'm still working out the particulars but the general idea is a man realises that he has no way of knowing if his friends are dead or alive and spends the play trying to figure out which of his friends are alive and which of them simply seem to be alive due to their online presence.
It kind of hinges on the concept of facebook ghosts. A high school friend of mine committed suicide a couple of years back and I used to get messages from facebook asking why we hadn't spoken in a while. His profile still exists. There's another urban legend about a kid whose mum died - where the kid discovers his mum had sent him a message every day on the game Animal Crossing. It's reputed to be a misunderstanding but it's an interesting idea. With a combination of answering machines, facebook, blogs, scheduled emails, auto-reply - how long could someone live after death online?
That's the basic premise. I think it's a big breakthrough. I feel better about not being quite so productive in other areas having come up with it.
Far from a wasted day, though. Aside from all the work I got done for my actual jobs, I FINALLY came up with the sketchings of a story idea for the play I want to write. I've been kind of sitting around waiting for something to enter my head for a couple of weeks now and I'd actually decided today that I needed to start writing regardless of whether I had a clue or not - just to get the juices flowing - but, in a weird domino effect, I pieced together some kind of set-up. I individually thought of a handful of interesting ideas and then, as I was leaving work, they kind of just collided and exploded together in my head.
The basic run of ideas started with me thinking about the concept of my phone not working and me thinking it was (and vice versa). I'm not proud to admit it came to me while I was wondering if people were ignoring my messages (hey, none of us are immune to a little insecurity). I got fascinated by this idea of things being broken without you realising they're broken - because you don't actually know what they're supposed to be doing. Following that, I found myself on a bus wondering what day of the week it was and wondering how it would feel if I went to bed on a Monday and just randomly found myself on the way to work on a Friday.
I combined these with two other ideas I'd had (about a professor living in a world where everyone speaks in pure gibberish and a taxi driver who never, ever, ever gets a customer) and just some general fascinations (the concept that the internet has meant no-one will ever fully forget us, even if we would like them to do so) and, eventually, they all kind of fell into place. I'm still working out the particulars but the general idea is a man realises that he has no way of knowing if his friends are dead or alive and spends the play trying to figure out which of his friends are alive and which of them simply seem to be alive due to their online presence.
It kind of hinges on the concept of facebook ghosts. A high school friend of mine committed suicide a couple of years back and I used to get messages from facebook asking why we hadn't spoken in a while. His profile still exists. There's another urban legend about a kid whose mum died - where the kid discovers his mum had sent him a message every day on the game Animal Crossing. It's reputed to be a misunderstanding but it's an interesting idea. With a combination of answering machines, facebook, blogs, scheduled emails, auto-reply - how long could someone live after death online?
That's the basic premise. I think it's a big breakthrough. I feel better about not being quite so productive in other areas having come up with it.
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
Day 16: The Comedown
Okay, today was less successful than yesterday. Clean house, 90mins exercise and I appear to have secured someone to mix my EP (plus I managed to pull off some brilliant last minute work in my actual job) but I didn't quite get to what I wanted to get to - namely, cleaning my room and working on a job application. Also, lyrics. I did lots of arsing about with beats but no lyrics.
I will, of course, get to it all. This blog is doing the trick. I am raising my standards. I'm just annoyed I'm not there yet. I think that's a part of this process, though. I'm watching Scrubs right now and thinking of that Dr Cox quote: "That minute you look at yourself and in the mirror and are happy with what you see - you just lost the battle"
Obviously, that's a stupid philosophy in regards to vanity and it's not healthy to be disappointed in yourself all the time - ego, as Skyhooks sang, is not a dirty word - but there's something to be said about always aiming a little bit above your capacity. I am not a machine. I will never be able to work 24/7 - as much as I may like to - but if I aim to work beyond what I perceive to be my own capacity, I'll more than likely exceed my own expectations.
That all sounds like wanky claptrap but I'm tired and just rambling.
I really, really need to remember to do these earlier in the day.
I will, of course, get to it all. This blog is doing the trick. I am raising my standards. I'm just annoyed I'm not there yet. I think that's a part of this process, though. I'm watching Scrubs right now and thinking of that Dr Cox quote: "That minute you look at yourself and in the mirror and are happy with what you see - you just lost the battle"
Obviously, that's a stupid philosophy in regards to vanity and it's not healthy to be disappointed in yourself all the time - ego, as Skyhooks sang, is not a dirty word - but there's something to be said about always aiming a little bit above your capacity. I am not a machine. I will never be able to work 24/7 - as much as I may like to - but if I aim to work beyond what I perceive to be my own capacity, I'll more than likely exceed my own expectations.
That all sounds like wanky claptrap but I'm tired and just rambling.
I really, really need to remember to do these earlier in the day.
Monday, 24 October 2011
Day 15: And We're Back!
Wicked. Didn't get everything done today but I was back on top energy wise and I got a sufficient amount of things done. My house is tidy, I did the 90 minutes of exercise, I emailed a whole bunch of people about important creative stuff and I laid the foundations for another job application. I also tried to work on music some more but I didn't come up with anything noteworthy. Oh yeah, and I accidentally ended up at the launch of a Brisbane theatre company's 2012 season drenched in sweat in full exercise gear. I love it when shit like that happens.
Basically, I had a good day.
I've had a lot of thoughts, though. Namely, do I expect too much of myself? How does my desperate need to always be working actually affect my relationships with others? Lots of others too but I'm tired and have forgotten what they are...
Bedtime.
Basically, I had a good day.
I've had a lot of thoughts, though. Namely, do I expect too much of myself? How does my desperate need to always be working actually affect my relationships with others? Lots of others too but I'm tired and have forgotten what they are...
Bedtime.
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Day 14: The Burnout
I figured something out today: I genuinely need to socialise. Not to be happy or healthy (though I'm sure both of those states would be more easily attained with assistance) but to function. All of my general companions are currently interstate or deposed. As a result, I idled today away in isolation. My focus and energy plummeted. I was depressed, anxious and irrational for most of the day.
I remembered that the different between an extrovert and introvert is not the disposition of the individual but from where they draw their energy. Introverts are sustained by themselves in isolation. Extroverts draw their energy from other people. I have always been an extrovert. With no-one around, I'm not as focussed.
I did do the domestic stuff and I was actually quite successfully musically - I reworked a beat, wrote a killer bass-line and did all the extra layers of sampling I need to do for a song to work in my style - but I didn't exercise and my mood was just rubbish all day. It wasn't until I spontaneously reconnected with an old friend at the end of the day that I got my verve back.
I also think I was just burnt out from forcing myself for a couple of weeks. I probably needed rest. So, I rested. Tomorrow, though - tomorrow I return to working hard.
I seem to be saying that a lot...
I remembered that the different between an extrovert and introvert is not the disposition of the individual but from where they draw their energy. Introverts are sustained by themselves in isolation. Extroverts draw their energy from other people. I have always been an extrovert. With no-one around, I'm not as focussed.
I did do the domestic stuff and I was actually quite successfully musically - I reworked a beat, wrote a killer bass-line and did all the extra layers of sampling I need to do for a song to work in my style - but I didn't exercise and my mood was just rubbish all day. It wasn't until I spontaneously reconnected with an old friend at the end of the day that I got my verve back.
I also think I was just burnt out from forcing myself for a couple of weeks. I probably needed rest. So, I rested. Tomorrow, though - tomorrow I return to working hard.
I seem to be saying that a lot...
Saturday, 22 October 2011
Day 13: The Lull
Things I learnt today (or, at least, was re-acquainted with):
1. He who rides a tiger cannot dismount
I enjoyed relaxing and chilling out yesterday - which meant I ended up copping out on swimming this morning. Even the slightest break can make it harder to return to the saddle, so to speak. I did do 90mins of exercise but it was a struggle and maintaining momentum in other areas was equally difficult (I intended to apply for three jobs - I applied for one, badly).
2. Moving Slowly is Still Moving
I have a problem. I think, unless I'm hitting something at full force and maximum velocity, I'm being lazy. There is a point to gradual development, though. The aforementioned job application took up all my day on account of elaborate selection criteria. As a result of my stupid three application goal, I rushed the rest of the process. I wrote a very bizarre cover letter and I fear I may have submitted incomplete information. I had over two weeks left to submit the application for that job. If I hadn't been so gung-ho, I could have improved my chances significantly. We live and learn.
3. Write this Stuff Earlier in the Day
I'm fricking tired. As a result, this blog post is half-arsed. I need to put it a little bit earlier in the schedule.
4. Community is Awesome
Yep. What a show!
1. He who rides a tiger cannot dismount
I enjoyed relaxing and chilling out yesterday - which meant I ended up copping out on swimming this morning. Even the slightest break can make it harder to return to the saddle, so to speak. I did do 90mins of exercise but it was a struggle and maintaining momentum in other areas was equally difficult (I intended to apply for three jobs - I applied for one, badly).
2. Moving Slowly is Still Moving
I have a problem. I think, unless I'm hitting something at full force and maximum velocity, I'm being lazy. There is a point to gradual development, though. The aforementioned job application took up all my day on account of elaborate selection criteria. As a result of my stupid three application goal, I rushed the rest of the process. I wrote a very bizarre cover letter and I fear I may have submitted incomplete information. I had over two weeks left to submit the application for that job. If I hadn't been so gung-ho, I could have improved my chances significantly. We live and learn.
3. Write this Stuff Earlier in the Day
I'm fricking tired. As a result, this blog post is half-arsed. I need to put it a little bit earlier in the schedule.
4. Community is Awesome
Yep. What a show!
Friday, 21 October 2011
Day 12: A Surprisingly Fruitful Day of Nothing
Today was a damn good day. Not necessarily a productive day - but a highly enjoyable one nonetheless.
In regards to the traditional realms of a productivity, I did the bare minimum. I tinkered with some beats, wrote a strangely awesome synth line and reworked one of my older songs. Or started to, anyway. I also cleaned up the house (just by the by - my continued cleanliness is actually one of the major accomplishments of this blog), did some swimming and did an interview for the magazine.
I didn't actually do any of the additional exercise, though - and mainly because I had such a great day. I spontaneously helped out a friend with a radio show and inadvertently ran into one of my favourite people in the city (who also came in to help out the show). It was great catching up and bouncing off the guy. We actually ended up going out for drinks afterwards with another friend - and that was some of the most fun I'd had in ages.
When I came home, I was intending on doing the rest of the exercise but I decided against it. Typically, this would bother me to no end. I didn't mind today, though. I think it's because I'm not copping out because I'm lazy so much as tired and fulfilled after a great day. I think as long as you're having a break for the right reasons, it's perfectly acceptable.
Maybe I'll feel differently about it tomorrow...
In regards to the traditional realms of a productivity, I did the bare minimum. I tinkered with some beats, wrote a strangely awesome synth line and reworked one of my older songs. Or started to, anyway. I also cleaned up the house (just by the by - my continued cleanliness is actually one of the major accomplishments of this blog), did some swimming and did an interview for the magazine.
I didn't actually do any of the additional exercise, though - and mainly because I had such a great day. I spontaneously helped out a friend with a radio show and inadvertently ran into one of my favourite people in the city (who also came in to help out the show). It was great catching up and bouncing off the guy. We actually ended up going out for drinks afterwards with another friend - and that was some of the most fun I'd had in ages.
When I came home, I was intending on doing the rest of the exercise but I decided against it. Typically, this would bother me to no end. I didn't mind today, though. I think it's because I'm not copping out because I'm lazy so much as tired and fulfilled after a great day. I think as long as you're having a break for the right reasons, it's perfectly acceptable.
Maybe I'll feel differently about it tomorrow...
Thursday, 20 October 2011
Day 11: No Exercise?!
I didn't exercise today. I fully intended to but I ultimately decided that I needed to stick to the proposed schedule of 5 days on, 1 day off if I was to stop it from becoming an all-consuming obsession. It felt fucking bizarre, too. I felt out of sorts all day. I'm looking forward to swimming tomorrow (kind of - it's somewhat excruciating).
I didn't get much done in other areas. I was at work for most of the day. I did socialise, though, and it just kind of emphasised that I really need to do it more often.
There's a bunch of other stuff to talk about but I'm knackered so I'm going to have to bow out. Tomorrow.
I didn't get much done in other areas. I was at work for most of the day. I did socialise, though, and it just kind of emphasised that I really need to do it more often.
There's a bunch of other stuff to talk about but I'm knackered so I'm going to have to bow out. Tomorrow.
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Day 10: The Non-Event
Not much happened today. It was basically all work today - the two jobs collided and conspired to siphon my time away for the day.
Note: potential lyric.
I did get some stuff done. I managed to sort out my references. I set up preliminary meetings about the release of the EP. I went swimming for the second day and actually stuck around for half an hour (and, thank fuck, I got in touch with my brother for some technique tips - should make it slightly easier) and I tidied up the house a bit. Oh, and I kept up the standard exercise bidness on top of the swimming.
I think I need to think more about the whole social aspect, though. I'm kind of vanishing into this comprehensive world of obsession and, I suspect, it's messing with my self-esteem. I've found myself feeling like a very average, mundane person and that's quite unusual. I wouldn't say I've always had a healthy ego but I generally keep a tight grip on my self-awareness (as this blog probably demonstrates). Even when I've felt utterly depressed and/or suicidal, I've known, intellectually, that I am a reasonably exceptional and distinctive person. Lately, I've even doubted my capacity to write well - arguably my only undeniable talent.
I've also realised I need to socialise more through the realisation that I'm not that brilliant at it. Lately, I've found myself confounded by the concept of how two people connect on an emotional level. Not that I'm incapable of it, more that I can't figure out how/why it occurs. I'm not sure if that complaint makes me stupidly adolescent, human or just pretentious. In any regard, social relationships are something I need to put some effort into - though I'm loathe to make it part of the daily regimen. Forced socialising? I'd feel like a nazi experiment. Or a high school student.
This bears further investigation.
Note: potential lyric.
I did get some stuff done. I managed to sort out my references. I set up preliminary meetings about the release of the EP. I went swimming for the second day and actually stuck around for half an hour (and, thank fuck, I got in touch with my brother for some technique tips - should make it slightly easier) and I tidied up the house a bit. Oh, and I kept up the standard exercise bidness on top of the swimming.
I think I need to think more about the whole social aspect, though. I'm kind of vanishing into this comprehensive world of obsession and, I suspect, it's messing with my self-esteem. I've found myself feeling like a very average, mundane person and that's quite unusual. I wouldn't say I've always had a healthy ego but I generally keep a tight grip on my self-awareness (as this blog probably demonstrates). Even when I've felt utterly depressed and/or suicidal, I've known, intellectually, that I am a reasonably exceptional and distinctive person. Lately, I've even doubted my capacity to write well - arguably my only undeniable talent.
I've also realised I need to socialise more through the realisation that I'm not that brilliant at it. Lately, I've found myself confounded by the concept of how two people connect on an emotional level. Not that I'm incapable of it, more that I can't figure out how/why it occurs. I'm not sure if that complaint makes me stupidly adolescent, human or just pretentious. In any regard, social relationships are something I need to put some effort into - though I'm loathe to make it part of the daily regimen. Forced socialising? I'd feel like a nazi experiment. Or a high school student.
This bears further investigation.
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Day 9: Obsession Juggling and The Best Beat Evah
I can feel my obsessive nature gradually taking over my work ethics. This is a good thing. Needs to be balanced, though. At the moment, I'm obsessed with the music-making. I spent hours today tinkering with a beat and a significant amount of my remaining time emailing people about the production of the debut EP.
The time was hardly wasted. The beat - a beautiful, four-bar piece of architecture built from taikos, shakers, handclaps, Amen breaks and big breathy kick drums - is close to the purest distillation for the kind of sound I'm going for in my music I've made as yet. I tried to upload it but soundcloud's screwing around. Once it's up, you will hear it, trust me. It's not quite complete - still need to tweak it - but the pattern is fantastic. Outside of the beat, I set myself a goal to release my debut EP by February's end and I made headway towards that goal.
These advances, however, came at the expense of some other work. While I didn't neglect the domestic stuff or the exercise stuff - I even went for a brief swim - I didn't make much progress on the employment front. My reason was that I needed to sort out my references but I question whether that was a legitimate concern. I'm never quite sure about the difference between sensible pauses/rests and lazing about or copping out.
In any case, I'll just have to make amends for it tomorrow.
The time was hardly wasted. The beat - a beautiful, four-bar piece of architecture built from taikos, shakers, handclaps, Amen breaks and big breathy kick drums - is close to the purest distillation for the kind of sound I'm going for in my music I've made as yet. I tried to upload it but soundcloud's screwing around. Once it's up, you will hear it, trust me. It's not quite complete - still need to tweak it - but the pattern is fantastic. Outside of the beat, I set myself a goal to release my debut EP by February's end and I made headway towards that goal.
These advances, however, came at the expense of some other work. While I didn't neglect the domestic stuff or the exercise stuff - I even went for a brief swim - I didn't make much progress on the employment front. My reason was that I needed to sort out my references but I question whether that was a legitimate concern. I'm never quite sure about the difference between sensible pauses/rests and lazing about or copping out.
In any case, I'll just have to make amends for it tomorrow.
Monday, 17 October 2011
Day 8: It Begins to Kick In
Well, I think this whole thing is starting to work. I'm starting to feel an urge to be productive. I just want to do stuff. Today wasn't the most successful day but progress is definitely being made. Creatively, I finished a remix that I've been trying to get done for months (aside from mixdown - I despise mixdown) and I sketched out two beats. I don't really like the sonic qualities of either beat but I'm reasonably sure that's just because they're unmixed. Patternwise, one of them is pretty solid and the other fucking rules. It's this skittery four-bar Venetian Snares sort of beat laid over a typical kind of ghetto groove. One of the things I really wanted to implement when I started to do this hip hop was kind of drum'n'bass/drill/breakcore rhythms so it's really satisfying to have one at my disposal. Still needs refinement but it's sounding awesome.
Outside of the creative stuff, I maintained the domestic stuff and I did the exercise. Crucially, I also looked at two jobs. One of them I can't apply for just yet because I need to finetune my resume and my references but the other I plan to tackle tomorrow. Oh yeah, and on the exercise front, I finally managed to hit the next level of one of my fitness routines. When I started, the directive was to do:
20 x Alternating Lunges
15 x Box Jumps (these made me cry)
10 x Push-Ups
20 x One Leg Deadlifts
15 x Hip Touches
10 x Dips
20 x Step-Ups
15 x Bench Squats
10 x Arm/Leg Sit-Ups
Five times in half an hour. I didn't do that. I managed three. For a long time, I've been stuck on four. Tonight, I did five - and it wasn't that big a thang. I think it might actually mean it's time for me to move onto another form of exercise. The usual ones are no longer as demanding. Fortunately, tomorrow I take my first stab at swimming. This kind of scares me. Swimming is hardcore.
Outside of the creative stuff, I maintained the domestic stuff and I did the exercise. Crucially, I also looked at two jobs. One of them I can't apply for just yet because I need to finetune my resume and my references but the other I plan to tackle tomorrow. Oh yeah, and on the exercise front, I finally managed to hit the next level of one of my fitness routines. When I started, the directive was to do:
20 x Alternating Lunges
15 x Box Jumps (these made me cry)
10 x Push-Ups
20 x One Leg Deadlifts
15 x Hip Touches
10 x Dips
20 x Step-Ups
15 x Bench Squats
10 x Arm/Leg Sit-Ups
Five times in half an hour. I didn't do that. I managed three. For a long time, I've been stuck on four. Tonight, I did five - and it wasn't that big a thang. I think it might actually mean it's time for me to move onto another form of exercise. The usual ones are no longer as demanding. Fortunately, tomorrow I take my first stab at swimming. This kind of scares me. Swimming is hardcore.
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Day 7: Recovery and Humility
Another day of next to nothing. Exercise, yeah, and a lot of thoughts about creativity and my ongoing quest for perfection but most of the day recovering from last night's festivities. My body was wrecked from dancing all day at Hangar (and the usual exercise) and I was just generally exhausted. Was it a cop out day? I don't think so. I don't think I could have done much more in the state I was in. Still, can't let these last two days become a pattern.
In regards to the thoughts, I just kind of realised how far behind I am. Perhaps that sounds stupid. I just know that socially and intellectually I am unbelievably underdeveloped for my age - and I know that both aspects will inevitably impinge upon other facets of my development. I suppose it's a good thing, in a way. The wisest man is he who knows he knows nothing at all and all that nonsense. It's a frustrating realisation, though. I feel I should be a lot more than I am right now.
In regards to the thoughts, I just kind of realised how far behind I am. Perhaps that sounds stupid. I just know that socially and intellectually I am unbelievably underdeveloped for my age - and I know that both aspects will inevitably impinge upon other facets of my development. I suppose it's a good thing, in a way. The wisest man is he who knows he knows nothing at all and all that nonsense. It's a frustrating realisation, though. I feel I should be a lot more than I am right now.
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Day 6:
It's nearly 3am. I'll be brief. I didn't do much domestic stuff. I spent most of the day at a video shoot and most of the night at gigs. I did get my exercise done and, just now, I've sketched out some rhymes for the first time in ages. Has nothing to do with what they're supposed to but it's something. It doesn't flow quite as well as I'd like and I haven't tried it with a beat but, like I said, it's something. I even have a vague, vague idea for a chorus.
Lyrics:
Lyrics:
Her eyes don’t dance quite like I thought they might. Slight of build but strong of will, I’d sighted something vibrant in her temperament when first we met that night which filled me with the ill-informed intrigue of the inveterately romantic gentleman’s archetypal flight of fantasy but, unfortunately, I was misled. Once again, instead of confidence, I met with self-defence – bruised sentiment crudely obscured by tactless intellect. I wouldn’t really care if she’d just be honest. Nobody’s perfect. Yet, across the salt and pepper shakers, I can once again see a barrier taking shape as a quaking figure seeks to veil shame behind vacant displays of flirtation and mind games.
Friday, 14 October 2011
Day 5: Relaxery?
I don't think today was quite as strong as yesterday but I do think progress is being made. I took a day off exercise because my joints were starting to feel funny. They felt better after stretching and, for a long time, I was determined to push through the pain and continue the routine regardless - but then I remembered that this whole thing was based on not letting obsession take over my life. So I took a break. Honestly, I've learnt over the years that you really, really, really need to learn how to rest and recuperate if you ever want to make any progress in life. I'm just always scared a rest will turn into a break will turn into a stall. Still, that's what the blog is for.
In other areas, I stayed productive. My house is still relatively tidy and I transcribed my interview with David Harrington. I found a job I really want to apply for and I fully intend to follow it up once I've got my references in a row. I plan to apply for it sometime next week. It's well out of my league but I need experience at applying for jobs so it'll hardly be a worthless exercise to tackle it.
Creatively, I made a little bit of progress. I finally uploaded the last batch of remixes I did under my Holy Cow alias to soundcloud (which is something I've been meaning to do for a while) and, more importantly, I actually revisited a remix I kind of threw away a long time ago. It actually had a lot of really great stuff in it. It just lacked development from a structural perspective. It was lazy. I'm looking forward to improving it, though, and getting it finally done and dusted.
I tried writing some rhymes but I didn't get very far. Still, the rust will come off eventually.
I'm hoping to go swimming tomorrow but I don't know if I'll follow through. I'm honestly quite scared of swimming as exercise. It's really fucking demanding and I actually like the confidence of doing stuff I'm good at from an exercise perspective (running, freeweights). We'll see how we go.
In other areas, I stayed productive. My house is still relatively tidy and I transcribed my interview with David Harrington. I found a job I really want to apply for and I fully intend to follow it up once I've got my references in a row. I plan to apply for it sometime next week. It's well out of my league but I need experience at applying for jobs so it'll hardly be a worthless exercise to tackle it.
Creatively, I made a little bit of progress. I finally uploaded the last batch of remixes I did under my Holy Cow alias to soundcloud (which is something I've been meaning to do for a while) and, more importantly, I actually revisited a remix I kind of threw away a long time ago. It actually had a lot of really great stuff in it. It just lacked development from a structural perspective. It was lazy. I'm looking forward to improving it, though, and getting it finally done and dusted.
I tried writing some rhymes but I didn't get very far. Still, the rust will come off eventually.
I'm hoping to go swimming tomorrow but I don't know if I'll follow through. I'm honestly quite scared of swimming as exercise. It's really fucking demanding and I actually like the confidence of doing stuff I'm good at from an exercise perspective (running, freeweights). We'll see how we go.
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Day 4: Progress
Much more successful today. I still didn't make much headway on the employment front but I got a lot of domestic stuff done as well as the standard exercise routine. I'm particularly proud of today because I've been trying to maintain my exercise routine for five days straight for nearly a month but without much success. Today marks the first time I've done it in ages. What's more, I'm reasonably sure I'm not injured, so I should be able to keep it up. Usually, I have to take a break after five because my body is just too worn out.
I didn't get much done on the creative front but I still made an effort. I've realised that I've left my creative habits dormant for too long. They've started to atrophy. I really need to make a conscious effort to do more of it each day if I'm to get any better at it. All I managed today is a concept for a song - Iron Guts.
All my life, I've had trouble dealing with the reality of the world. One of the reasons I didn't become a news journalist was because I knew I lacked the stomach to look at tragedy in such an unfeeling way every day of my life - which I think most would agree is a necessity of the profession. I can't even read the paper most days because the news - and the presentation thereof - is so upsetting. However, if I'm to accomplish anything, I know I need to man up enough to actually look at the face of tragedy. I need to actually grasp the practical realities of the problems I supposedly would like to fix.
That's what I'd like the next song to be about, anyway.
I didn't get much done on the creative front but I still made an effort. I've realised that I've left my creative habits dormant for too long. They've started to atrophy. I really need to make a conscious effort to do more of it each day if I'm to get any better at it. All I managed today is a concept for a song - Iron Guts.
All my life, I've had trouble dealing with the reality of the world. One of the reasons I didn't become a news journalist was because I knew I lacked the stomach to look at tragedy in such an unfeeling way every day of my life - which I think most would agree is a necessity of the profession. I can't even read the paper most days because the news - and the presentation thereof - is so upsetting. However, if I'm to accomplish anything, I know I need to man up enough to actually look at the face of tragedy. I need to actually grasp the practical realities of the problems I supposedly would like to fix.
That's what I'd like the next song to be about, anyway.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Day 3: Sluggish and Love
Ugh. I felt like I was moving through molasses today. I don't know if it was sleep deprivation or simply the change in the weather but I was groggy and malicious. Exercise didn't help either. I'm beginning to think my fitness regimen may be more demanding than I thought. Still, we press on.
In regards to the five categories I laid out today, I failed big time. I did the exercise and I went to work but I otherwise idled my time away. I didn't fully realise until this morning just how much time I squander dancing around my lounge room. It seriously would have been about three hours today - three hours of just strutting around and being a badass to Eminem.
Yep, just as lame as it sounds. That's how I roll.
I have had two thoughts about this endeavour, though. The first is that, for all of these things to be accomplished, they need nourishment. Not of the flesh (though that's obviously kind of important) but of the mind and soul (ha - gaaaaay). I was watching Avatar: The Last Airbender earlier today and I was thinking about how the stuff I create and develop is shaped by that which I put in front of myself. Maybe I should make an effort to partake of more culturally expansive stimuli?
The counterpoint to this line of thinking would be that a wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can see from the top of a mountain - but, then, imagine what a wise man could see from the top of the mountain? "If less is more, think how much more more will be," as Frasier once said...
The other came from a couple of the interviews that have been doing over the past couple of days. Specifically, my conversations with David Harrington of the Kronos Quartet and world-conquering super DJ Hernan Cattaneo.
These two have accomplished a buttload of stuff (as opposed to the more popular stuffload of butt). Harrington formed the Kronos Quartet when he was twenty-three and it's since gone on to become arguably the most adventurous and celebrated chamber music ensemble of the twentieth century while Cattaneo is just widely acknowledged to be a freakishly brilliant DJ by all and sundry. Speaking to both artists, I was struck by the same realisation: everything they have accomplished has been fuelled by a genuine love for what they do.
I know that sounds obvious but, in my experience, it's rarely that simple. I've spoken to literally thousands of artists. Honestly, most of them do it because they have nothing else to do. A lot of them do it because they can get away with it. Some are motivated by ambition or insecurity. Actually, a lot of them are probably motivated by insecurity. Basically, there's a whole bunch of motivations besides love.
Cattaneo and Harrington (man, I would watch the shit out of that detective show...), however, are so abundantly defined by this overflowing enthusiasm and affection for what they do. Harrington spent the last third of his interview explaining in exquisite detail what initially drew him to George Crum's Black Angels (the piece that directly led to the formation of the Kronos Quartet). Cattaneo drew a line from parties he used to throw as a kid all the way through to his barnstorming performance at The Family a couple of years back. They were both like kids, actually.
What does this have to do with my little self-improvement quest? Well, it made me realise that, if I don't love what I'm doing, I will eventually burn out. Simple as that. I can force myself to go through the motions but I know it won't last. To quote Inception, "I think positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time" - or, more elegantly, Leonard Cohen - "Love is the only engine of survival".
Again, all of that could seem really obvious but it seemed important to me.
And it's my blog.
So, you know.
Just fuck off, then?
In regards to the five categories I laid out today, I failed big time. I did the exercise and I went to work but I otherwise idled my time away. I didn't fully realise until this morning just how much time I squander dancing around my lounge room. It seriously would have been about three hours today - three hours of just strutting around and being a badass to Eminem.
Yep, just as lame as it sounds. That's how I roll.
I have had two thoughts about this endeavour, though. The first is that, for all of these things to be accomplished, they need nourishment. Not of the flesh (though that's obviously kind of important) but of the mind and soul (ha - gaaaaay). I was watching Avatar: The Last Airbender earlier today and I was thinking about how the stuff I create and develop is shaped by that which I put in front of myself. Maybe I should make an effort to partake of more culturally expansive stimuli?
The counterpoint to this line of thinking would be that a wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can see from the top of a mountain - but, then, imagine what a wise man could see from the top of the mountain? "If less is more, think how much more more will be," as Frasier once said...
The other came from a couple of the interviews that have been doing over the past couple of days. Specifically, my conversations with David Harrington of the Kronos Quartet and world-conquering super DJ Hernan Cattaneo.
These two have accomplished a buttload of stuff (as opposed to the more popular stuffload of butt). Harrington formed the Kronos Quartet when he was twenty-three and it's since gone on to become arguably the most adventurous and celebrated chamber music ensemble of the twentieth century while Cattaneo is just widely acknowledged to be a freakishly brilliant DJ by all and sundry. Speaking to both artists, I was struck by the same realisation: everything they have accomplished has been fuelled by a genuine love for what they do.
I know that sounds obvious but, in my experience, it's rarely that simple. I've spoken to literally thousands of artists. Honestly, most of them do it because they have nothing else to do. A lot of them do it because they can get away with it. Some are motivated by ambition or insecurity. Actually, a lot of them are probably motivated by insecurity. Basically, there's a whole bunch of motivations besides love.
Cattaneo and Harrington (man, I would watch the shit out of that detective show...), however, are so abundantly defined by this overflowing enthusiasm and affection for what they do. Harrington spent the last third of his interview explaining in exquisite detail what initially drew him to George Crum's Black Angels (the piece that directly led to the formation of the Kronos Quartet). Cattaneo drew a line from parties he used to throw as a kid all the way through to his barnstorming performance at The Family a couple of years back. They were both like kids, actually.
What does this have to do with my little self-improvement quest? Well, it made me realise that, if I don't love what I'm doing, I will eventually burn out. Simple as that. I can force myself to go through the motions but I know it won't last. To quote Inception, "I think positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time" - or, more elegantly, Leonard Cohen - "Love is the only engine of survival".
Again, all of that could seem really obvious but it seemed important to me.
And it's my blog.
So, you know.
Just fuck off, then?
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
Day 2: The First Day (Sort Of)
Today was hard. One of the things I always forget about endeavours like this blog is that one must contend with the reality of being an adult and being human. I've tried to incorporate that perspective into my projects but I think one only really grows accustomed to it with age - and I am still quite young.
For example, today was spent mostly working in my day job. I interviewed three artists (DJ Krush, The Snowdroppers and David Harrington of the Kronos Quartet). When I wasn't preparing or conducting one of those interviews, I was trying to polish off my Mr Maps remix. I despise mixdowns of tracks. I suck at mixing. I'm great with ideas and I can write semi-interesting music but mixing I just plain don't do very well.
What do these activities have to do with the reality of being an adult? Well, they exhausted me. I often like to think that my work isn't tremendously taxing. Physically speaking, it isn't even slightly demanding. The worst stress I am placed under these days is my horrible posture when typing (I am, as I write, shaped vaguely like a question mark) - so it frustrates me that a day of interviews and remixing can just plain wear me out.
I didn't do much else besides that. I did look at jobs and I tinkered with some beats and phrases (I have a great distorted kalemba line but no idea what to do with the thing) but I was mostly just burnt out. It took every ounce of strength not to cop out on the whole exercise gambit. I pushed through, though, which means the day hasn't been a total waste.
I've decided I need to be a little bit more structured about this thing, though, so, as of tomorrow, I'm dividing my work into roughly four categories. In no particular order:
1. Health and Fitness
2. Creating Stuff (be that music or writing)
3. Career Creative (Setting up meetings, rehearsals et cetera)
4. Domestic Work (Tidying my room, making sure I don't live in complete sloth)
5. Work Work (ie looking AND APPLYING for jobs)
I figure I should try and evaluate each day in regards to how much I invested in each of those sections. I should try and invest a little bit in each part each day. I think it will be a good score card.
For example, today was spent mostly working in my day job. I interviewed three artists (DJ Krush, The Snowdroppers and David Harrington of the Kronos Quartet). When I wasn't preparing or conducting one of those interviews, I was trying to polish off my Mr Maps remix. I despise mixdowns of tracks. I suck at mixing. I'm great with ideas and I can write semi-interesting music but mixing I just plain don't do very well.
What do these activities have to do with the reality of being an adult? Well, they exhausted me. I often like to think that my work isn't tremendously taxing. Physically speaking, it isn't even slightly demanding. The worst stress I am placed under these days is my horrible posture when typing (I am, as I write, shaped vaguely like a question mark) - so it frustrates me that a day of interviews and remixing can just plain wear me out.
I didn't do much else besides that. I did look at jobs and I tinkered with some beats and phrases (I have a great distorted kalemba line but no idea what to do with the thing) but I was mostly just burnt out. It took every ounce of strength not to cop out on the whole exercise gambit. I pushed through, though, which means the day hasn't been a total waste.
I've decided I need to be a little bit more structured about this thing, though, so, as of tomorrow, I'm dividing my work into roughly four categories. In no particular order:
1. Health and Fitness
2. Creating Stuff (be that music or writing)
3. Career Creative (Setting up meetings, rehearsals et cetera)
4. Domestic Work (Tidying my room, making sure I don't live in complete sloth)
5. Work Work (ie looking AND APPLYING for jobs)
I figure I should try and evaluate each day in regards to how much I invested in each of those sections. I should try and invest a little bit in each part each day. I think it will be a good score card.
Monday, 10 October 2011
Day 1: The Story So Far
Okay.
I just typed a long post. The computer promptly deleted it. This one will be significantly shorter.
This is a daily blog. It's my attempt to use my obsessive tendencies to become a better, more impressive person - both in the sense of doing impressive, unusual things (writing hip hop music, running ten kilometres a day) and being a responsible adult (tidying my room, maintaining a consistent exercise regimen). I have an obsessive nature that means I can do amazing things but too often that obsessive nature distracts me from my work.
(For example, from Saturday to Wednesday of last week, I was reading books #29-#54 of the Animorphs series. I got nothing done.)
This blog is about becoming obsessive about working in general. Each day, I will work towards one of my many goals and then post the results here. I hope to have people comment on the process so I can become better at what I do. Primarily, though, I just want to develop a good, focussed work ethic and become a better person. I know that sounds lame. I can't really do much about that, though.
For day 1, I thought I'd list several of the things I'm hoping to work on through this blog:
1) Secure more permanent employment (I literally have no idea how much money I made last week.)
2) Work on my music (I make hip hop music - it doesn't suck, I promise)
3) Write my play
4) Maintain a consistent exercise regimen (one of my more recent obsessions)
And plenty of other stuff. Today, I managed to put some time into 2-4. I finished off a remix for Mr Maps, I set up a meeting to discuss my play (with someone who knows way more about this shit than I do) and I crammed in my standard 90minutes of exercise.
Till tomorrow.
Also, fuck computers.
I just typed a long post. The computer promptly deleted it. This one will be significantly shorter.
This is a daily blog. It's my attempt to use my obsessive tendencies to become a better, more impressive person - both in the sense of doing impressive, unusual things (writing hip hop music, running ten kilometres a day) and being a responsible adult (tidying my room, maintaining a consistent exercise regimen). I have an obsessive nature that means I can do amazing things but too often that obsessive nature distracts me from my work.
(For example, from Saturday to Wednesday of last week, I was reading books #29-#54 of the Animorphs series. I got nothing done.)
This blog is about becoming obsessive about working in general. Each day, I will work towards one of my many goals and then post the results here. I hope to have people comment on the process so I can become better at what I do. Primarily, though, I just want to develop a good, focussed work ethic and become a better person. I know that sounds lame. I can't really do much about that, though.
For day 1, I thought I'd list several of the things I'm hoping to work on through this blog:
1) Secure more permanent employment (I literally have no idea how much money I made last week.)
2) Work on my music (I make hip hop music - it doesn't suck, I promise)
3) Write my play
4) Maintain a consistent exercise regimen (one of my more recent obsessions)
And plenty of other stuff. Today, I managed to put some time into 2-4. I finished off a remix for Mr Maps, I set up a meeting to discuss my play (with someone who knows way more about this shit than I do) and I crammed in my standard 90minutes of exercise.
Till tomorrow.
Also, fuck computers.
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