Ugh. I felt like I was moving through molasses today. I don't know if it was sleep deprivation or simply the change in the weather but I was groggy and malicious. Exercise didn't help either. I'm beginning to think my fitness regimen may be more demanding than I thought. Still, we press on.
In regards to the five categories I laid out today, I failed big time. I did the exercise and I went to work but I otherwise idled my time away. I didn't fully realise until this morning just how much time I squander dancing around my lounge room. It seriously would have been about three hours today - three hours of just strutting around and being a badass to Eminem.
Yep, just as lame as it sounds. That's how I roll.
I have had two thoughts about this endeavour, though. The first is that, for all of these things to be accomplished, they need nourishment. Not of the flesh (though that's obviously kind of important) but of the mind and soul (ha - gaaaaay). I was watching Avatar: The Last Airbender earlier today and I was thinking about how the stuff I create and develop is shaped by that which I put in front of myself. Maybe I should make an effort to partake of more culturally expansive stimuli?
The counterpoint to this line of thinking would be that a wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can see from the top of a mountain - but, then, imagine what a wise man could see from the top of the mountain? "If less is more, think how much more more will be," as Frasier once said...
The other came from a couple of the interviews that have been doing over the past couple of days. Specifically, my conversations with David Harrington of the Kronos Quartet and world-conquering super DJ Hernan Cattaneo.
These two have accomplished a buttload of stuff (as opposed to the more popular stuffload of butt). Harrington formed the Kronos Quartet when he was twenty-three and it's since gone on to become arguably the most adventurous and celebrated chamber music ensemble of the twentieth century while Cattaneo is just widely acknowledged to be a freakishly brilliant DJ by all and sundry. Speaking to both artists, I was struck by the same realisation: everything they have accomplished has been fuelled by a genuine love for what they do.
I know that sounds obvious but, in my experience, it's rarely that simple. I've spoken to literally thousands of artists. Honestly, most of them do it because they have nothing else to do. A lot of them do it because they can get away with it. Some are motivated by ambition or insecurity. Actually, a lot of them are probably motivated by insecurity. Basically, there's a whole bunch of motivations besides love.
Cattaneo and Harrington (man, I would watch the shit out of that detective show...), however, are so abundantly defined by this overflowing enthusiasm and affection for what they do. Harrington spent the last third of his interview explaining in exquisite detail what initially drew him to George Crum's Black Angels (the piece that directly led to the formation of the Kronos Quartet). Cattaneo drew a line from parties he used to throw as a kid all the way through to his barnstorming performance at The Family a couple of years back. They were both like kids, actually.
What does this have to do with my little self-improvement quest? Well, it made me realise that, if I don't love what I'm doing, I will eventually burn out. Simple as that. I can force myself to go through the motions but I know it won't last. To quote Inception, "I think positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time" - or, more elegantly, Leonard Cohen - "Love is the only engine of survival".
Again, all of that could seem really obvious but it seemed important to me.
And it's my blog.
So, you know.
Just fuck off, then?
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